Perhaps not the ideal place for a first date with a vegan, Fazenda focuses on meat, meat and more meat in the way that only South Americans know how.
‘I’ve had it’, sighs J regretfully as he pushes away his plate, ‘this place has defeated me’. I know how he feels, I think I may be about to slip into a food coma myself. Never have I eaten so much delicious meat and, as it is a never ending supply, it really is as much as you can handle. Or can’t, in our case.
Waiters, called passadores, endlessly circle the room with the Rodizio menu – skewers of meat fresh from the hot coals, there are twelve, yes twelve, different kinds of meat including the finest cuts of beef such as picanha and ancho, along with wagyu sausages, truffled pork tenderloin, succulent lamb and juicy chicken. There are even chicken hearts on skewers, if you’re into your offal
As long as you keep your slotted kniferest upright, they’ll keep coming to your table and carving as much meat as you want onto your plate. When you fancy a break, or desperately need one, you turn the kniferest upside down and the waiters will pass by instead.
One reason to do this is to get the time to visit the self-serve ‘Market Table’, which is so large it takes a good few minutes to walk around and check out all the offerings.
I always get a bit crazed at any self-serve, manically piling items onto my plate even though many of them often don’t really go together, but faced with so much remarkable choice it’s hard to remain calm and rational.
This all takes place in a very classy, dare I say masculine, room. It’s dark, moody and sexy in a good way, not a famous comedian way. If you’ve been to a Gaucho you’ll know what to expect, although this is a lot more up market. There’s a lot of leather around the room, which I suppose shows nothing of the cow goes to waste. Have some of that sustainable action, eco-warriors.
Downstairs is a glamorous bar serving some of the best canape/snacks I’ve had in a while. Each a small flavour bomb, especially the Wagyu beef eclair with chimichurri mayo. You could eat this menu, have a few drinks, and walk out happily.
Fazenda Bishopsgate follows bro restaurants in Edinburgh, Birmingham, Manchester, Liverpool and Leeds and is the first to get grilling down here in the south.
And actually, you don’t need to just eat meat. There are prawn and sardine dishes; a wild mushroom risotto; Cod, Carabinero prawn, mussels, tomato and coconut stew, and a fresh-water Scottish trout, piquillo peppers, onion, crème fraiche dish to name a few.
And sides with your meat include Potato fries, chimichurri; Broccoli, mangetout beans, kale, garlic and Baby potatoes, cream, black truffle. You really are spoiled for choice.
I don’t recall what we had for dessert I’m afraid, possibly more meat. Well no, but things had got a bit hazy owing to consumption of red wine.
Fazenda is very much a City place, if you’ve spent all day funding hedges then you’re going to be in the mood for carnivorous pleasures come evening. I’d definitely go back for those bar snacks and, when my body can handle it, some more of that amazing meat.
100 Bishopsgate, London EC2M 1GT