I see it’s almost National Potato Day. And Farmhouse Breakfast Week. But does branding a particular period with a high falutin’ moniker actually up consumption? I’m not sure I believe people from Perth to Portsmouth are downing beans by the bucketload simply because some trade body deemed it The Day To Do So. 

Rice is not nice. In fact it proves resolutely unkind to me when I attempt to cook it every which way. I’ve tried everything: rinsing, stirring, leaving it alone, covering it, salting it and standing over it murmuring talismanic incantations like a grainy shaman.  So for fellow failures, here’s a host of tips and tricks from my savviest friends.

Managing to manage your moolah and your munching? Congratulations. If you’ve been a successful scrimper you might even be ready to graduate to the advanced level of’gaining ridiculous returns for your meagre outgoings’. In the final phase you’ll get to eat out AND have treats.

When the Fino fug finally clears and I rise to blue skies, I’m all excited-like. January 1st! A new beginning! A fresh start! The chance to plan 365 days of explorative feasts! Or not. The response to my Most Excellent Guide to necessary noshing is not the irritating-but-tolerable’out-of-office’. Worse. A panicky text informing me a particularly gourmet guy has a £10 weekly food budget’till payday.

Urgh. You open one eye, then the other. Not both together. Too much, too soon. If you’re unlucky the room will still be spinning. Your mouth’s dry and your memory alarmingly- or thankfully- blank. But World’s Leading Cocktail Expert Salvatore Calabrese is here to save the day! 

Cranberries. They’re taking up my entire fridge. Not the Irish rock band you understand (they wouldn’t quite fit), but the firm, sharp red berries that scream’Christmas’ as loudly as that other familiar red sphere, Santa. In preparation for the big day, I’m determined these will’linger’ no more. The Christmas bird will have its berry-based bedfellow!

Encased in a unique glass skull, Crystal Head Vodka is the essential bottle for any drinks cabinet, cocktail aficionado or festive party.

Real ale fan and one of the masterminds behind London microbrewery Pressure Drop, Sam Smith is a man who knows what differentiates sheer nectar from mere beer. He reckons ale’s a canny Christmas buy, with the best imported craft beers commanding the same price as some very mediocre wines.

Philip Dundas doesn’t go by recipes. He just knows how to cook, and presses his instinctive methods into service rustling up lovely things at PipsDish Kitchen. And most of  us could do with heeding his  Ã¢â‚¬Ëœsubstance over form’philosophy when flapping about like a headless turkey on Christmas Day with 15 dishes on the go.

There’s always something. No matter how military the operation, the Christmas store is guaranteed to be bereft of at least one item that at least one member of the festive clan deems essential to their seasonal enjoyment.’But it won’t be the SAME,’ they wail. No. it won’t. You’re going to make it different, and maybe better.