The Empress, Victoria Park, London

I’ve committed the cardinal sin to which no self-respecting reviewer should succumb: on the day of my reservation at The Empress I googled it and read their reviews to date. Every one a winner, but then I’d already made my mind up I was going to like this place.

Carte Noire Instinct Launch

We’re seated in a silk-lined ‘pod’ with a small group of strangers, with a piped soundtrack featuring the slippery strains of modern jazz, low lighting, and a troupe of scantily-clad burlesque dancers. A honed, toned male model draws the curtains closed behind him. The stage seems set for some wholly unwholesome nefarious behaviour.