We won’t bore you with the news that baking’s big business. We will, however, regale you with the tale that Fortnum & Mason are launching a temporary bakery and stoking shopper’s fires with goodies from a regularly changing roster of top chefs.

Alan Kingsbury makes friends with a bottle of Vouvray, the underappreciated ‘demi-sec’ classic of the Loire.

Ahhh, meat. Like wot London went batshit crazy for in 2012 in the myriad monoglottals opening throughout the capital faster than you could say’with a moo moo here’. And with his Selkirk Grace, old Rabbie Burns inadvertently provided the perfect mantra for the meat-lovin’ masses.

I see it’s almost National Potato Day. And Farmhouse Breakfast Week. But does branding a particular period with a high falutin’ moniker actually up consumption? I’m not sure I believe people from Perth to Portsmouth are downing beans by the bucketload simply because some trade body deemed it The Day To Do So. 

Rice is not nice. In fact it proves resolutely unkind to me when I attempt to cook it every which way. I’ve tried everything: rinsing, stirring, leaving it alone, covering it, salting it and standing over it murmuring talismanic incantations like a grainy shaman.  So for fellow failures, here’s a host of tips and tricks from my savviest friends.

Managing to manage your moolah and your munching? Congratulations. If you’ve been a successful scrimper you might even be ready to graduate to the advanced level of’gaining ridiculous returns for your meagre outgoings’. In the final phase you’ll get to eat out AND have treats.

When the Fino fug finally clears and I rise to blue skies, I’m all excited-like. January 1st! A new beginning! A fresh start! The chance to plan 365 days of explorative feasts! Or not. The response to my Most Excellent Guide to necessary noshing is not the irritating-but-tolerable’out-of-office’. Worse. A panicky text informing me a particularly gourmet guy has a £10 weekly food budget’till payday.

Urgh. You open one eye, then the other. Not both together. Too much, too soon. If you’re unlucky the room will still be spinning. Your mouth’s dry and your memory alarmingly- or thankfully- blank. But World’s Leading Cocktail Expert Salvatore Calabrese is here to save the day! 

Cranberries. They’re taking up my entire fridge. Not the Irish rock band you understand (they wouldn’t quite fit), but the firm, sharp red berries that scream’Christmas’ as loudly as that other familiar red sphere, Santa. In preparation for the big day, I’m determined these will’linger’ no more. The Christmas bird will have its berry-based bedfellow!

Encased in a unique glass skull, Crystal Head Vodka is the essential bottle for any drinks cabinet, cocktail aficionado or festive party.